


homesick for a home you never had

by limey5



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: BFFP, Capp Makes me Laugh, Christmas, F/M, Pining, Tumblr: BFFP (Chicago Fire), furlough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28446801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limey5/pseuds/limey5
Summary: Casey misses Brett while she's on furlough. Post 9x02
Relationships: Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 12
Kudos: 83





	homesick for a home you never had

**Author's Note:**

> Learned about BFFP today (what have I been doing all year?!), and couldn't stop myself from writing something. Honestly I was blocked and this just somehow came out once I sat down. 
> 
> I used the Ernest Saves Christmas and It's a Wonderful Life prompts, one very bluntly and one very loosely. 
> 
> Title is from John Moreland's "Hang Me in the Tulsa County Stars," which feels like it kinda fits these two right now.

_“Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around, he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?” (It’s a Wonderful Life)_

* * *

He was nearly finished with his paperwork regarding their last fire, but was having trouble keeping his eyes open. Figuring a cup of coffee would help, Matt Casey stood from his desk chair. The sky outside was a beautiful orange and pink, one of the vivid sunsets of early winter. It was something he’d normally share with Sylvie. They’d had half a dozen moments like this before, standing shoulder to shoulder appreciating the setting sun. Of course he missed her in the big ways, but what he really missed were small moments like this.

He glanced at his watch - 16:33 - maybe dinner would be ready soon. Maybe it would get him out of his funk a little bit. 

It was a weird feeling to walk into the room just before dinner time and find only a handful of people there. Chout was a decent replacement as a paramedic, but he was a poor substitute when it came to house camaraderie. Where Sylvie usually brought everyone together, Chout’s chatty nature seemed to scatter everyone. 

Walking behind the counter he reached for his mug. It was the same mug that he used every day - it was a navy blue insulated tumbler that was quite basic, but did the job well - and he realized that Brett had bought it for him on his birthday last year. He knew it was a generous gift. He wasn’t much for brands, but he knew this one was an expensive one, that they made good quality products. Sylvie Brett certainly didn’t do anything by half. She’d also shown up on his (well, Severide’s) doorstep at 6 AM holding a homemade Portillo’s chocolate cake. If he didn’t already know he loved her...

A loud holler made him pause his memory to look over his shoulder at the room. Matt knew that Sylvie was gone on furlough, but it didn’t stop him from looking for her first. Quickly coming up empty, he looked across the room again.

Ritter and Tuesday were curled up in the corner of the couch, the man scratching idly between the dog’s ears as he chatted quietly on the phone. 

Capp, Chout and Gallo were playing a lively game of what sounded like...Uno? Based on the sound of it, Capp was losing and was none too happy about it. 

“Allen! You cannot always win! It’s not fair!” Capp shouted accusingly with Chout’s given name, threw his cards on the table and stormed off. 

Chout used his hands to quickly sweep up a pile of dollar bills ( _They were betting on a kid’s card game?_ ) before leaning back in his chair and hollering after Capp. “You’re just salty because you lost, _Harold!_ ”

Casey shook his head, smiling to himself. He’d worked with Capp for over ten years, but the man always entertained him. And Chout and Capp getting in an argument using their first names, it was another thing he’d normally share a laugh with Sylvie over.

“You trying to stare a hole through our employees, man?” Severide came up behind him and clapped him on the shoulder before reaching around him for the coffee pot. His friend poured himself a mug, took one look in Matt’s and at the glum look on his face, then filled the mug he was absently gripping. Shelving the pot, he looked at Matt with that cheeky smile that always drove him crazy. “You look like you need some of that. You’re still worked up because Brett isn’t back?”

He’d been lucky enough in the summer that their furloughs overlapped at bit. They’d enjoyed Chicago things as best they could, with the strange year that it was. He thought his life was made when they took Boden’s boat out and he got to see Sylvie Brett in a bikini. If ever there was a silver lining to 2020...

But it had been nearly a month since he’d seen her, and, though he knows it’s impossible (they picked their time off for this fall September _before last_ ), he couldn’t help but kind of take it personally. He knew he’d fucked up. Royally. And he knew that Brett didn’t want to be around him right now. But he hadn’t thought she would run away. 

Deep down he knew she didn’t run away though. Brett had used her furlough to visit her family in Indiana, thrilled to have the time to safely quarantine before spending Christmas with her family. She’d been gone from the firehouse since the weekend after Thanksgiving. He hadn’t heard from her. And the silence was killing him.

Stella hadn’t been any warmer towards him either. She’d been professional but remarkably short with him, leaving his presence as soon as she had the chance. Last week Casey’d come across her sitting on her bunk, FaceTiming with Brett. He’d lingered in his own doorway for far too long to be natural, enjoying hearing Sylvie’s voice and how exasperated she sounded when her mom tried to interject in her story. Until Stella saw him and abruptly left the bunkroom. 

He must’ve gotten too far into his memory, because his friend nudged him in the arm, “Seriously. She’s back next shift. Stella said she got back last night. You’ll figure it out.” Casey was thankful for his best friend’s confidence in him, because he wasn’t sure he had much of it right now.

* * *

“Awww, you guys did such a great job decorating!” Gallo, Ritter and Mackey had decorated the house, something Brett traditionally led. There was a real spruce tree tucked into the corner next to the tv. It had classic white lights on it, but is decorated with ornaments made by the Herrmann children. There’s a particularly unfortunate construction paper handprint that Casey thinks Kenny colored to look like Santa. 

Gallo preened at the compliment and Ritter smiled at her, “Thanks. We wanted to leave it up until you got back. I know how much you love the holidays.” It was two shifts later and Brett’s first shift back from furlough, New Year’s Eve. Shift had just started, everyone was slowing making their way towards the briefing room. 

“Christmas is just about my favorite time. Ever since I was a little kid, I always felt it was my own personal holiday.”

“Girl. You stole that from _Ernest Saves Christmas_ . _”_ Stella barged into the common room and loudly announced her presence. 

“Stella!” Brett exclaimed, running across the room to her friend and wrapping her in a hug. Casey so badly wished her arms were around him. Instead he continued to brood in the corner, nursing his coffee. If anyone asked, he was just waiting until it was cool enough to drink, not hovering hoping that his...crush? hopefully future girlfriend? would deign to talk to him. 

She didn’t seem angry, though he hadn’t seen her in a month, so what did he know? It had been so long since he’d seen her that he felt like there was a big hole inside of him.

Stella was chattering away to Sylvie, one arm looped around her neck, slowly steering her towards their briefing. Matt figured he could follow after most everyone was in the room, tucking himself in the back unless called on by Boden. Instead, and he couldn’t explain it, but he felt pulled towards the conference room. He looked up from his coffee and saw a pair of blue eyes staring right at him. Sylvie. When she realized he’d finally looked up, she gave him a small smile. Maybe she wasn’t over him after all. 

He’d known it the moment he walked out of her apartment that night, but, standing here watching her interact with their friends and colleagues, he knew he had to show her how he felt. She’d touched his life, and there was no way he could ever go back. 


End file.
